LuluDaniella

Moving forward …

So I thought he would have contacted me at some point by Monday … Instead his added every slut Around on Facebook. So he put the final nail in the coffin. I then had to have a driving lesson after the shock sick feeling of seeing them all. Since then I’ve tried my best to get on with things being a single women , and already been asked on date no I’m not ready yet … But boy was it a confidence boost when I was at my lowest.

I’ve had time to reflect on the past few years and the first few we’re wonderful .. After that it started to rot. I don’t know how I allowed myself to stay with someone who was so vulgar towards me. I have. Chance to change my life and one day even find love again. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that time heals everything … Even a broken heart .

Crazy emotions

It’s Insane how your feelings can just change from being so strong to being rock bottom In a matter of seconds. It’s only been 3 days with no contact. His not spoken to me I haven’t spoken to him. I woke up feeling so low and helpless and just wanting someone there to hold me while I cried in there chest … But the reality Is that I haven’t got anyone there for me like that. So I got myself out of bed , did some cleaning and went to the gym. On my way I found some empowerment deep inside of myself, weighing the pros and the cons …. With the long run picture showing I’m better off . I felt some sort of hope.

I’ve been dieting for the past 3 months to make myself feel better and I’ve lost 33lbs (2st5lbs) I did 8 miles of cardio at the gym , letting out my frustration and hurt . I carried on feeling a state of power over my life this afternoon … I got home showered sat down , and hit rock bottom again. Why doesn’t he bother to even try to speak to me ? Isit my fault even though I did everything possible to help the boy. Is he happy without me ? I find myself questioning everything . How do I let go …….?

gvillaflor asked: hey, im gen. i was looking through tumblr at breakup posts, so find some sort of 'hope' im also going through a long term relationship breakup. nearly 4 years, our relationship was amazing. until the last year, i know how it feels to give it your all and stick by someone in the hopes that they'd see that, and change or give you some sort of hope. In the end, i was left.. its been over a month for me. my advice for you is to.. face the pain head on. dont be afraid, one day at a time.

Thank you so much for your message , it’s nice to know I’m not the only one going through it. I wanted so much more for us he just had no drive on him to change for the better , he was getting worse with how he spent money .. Had nothing to show for his life and I tried so hard to help him . I guess you can’t help someone when they don’t even help themselves. I don’t feel like I know who I am anymore because I always had him. I’m scared of what’s to come … I’m sorry your going through it all as well they never appreciate what they have until its gone

What next?

After being in a long term relationship of nearly four years everything crumbled and fell apart. Splitting up is never easy but it’s even harder when you didn’t want to in the first place. How many times can you give chances ? How many times can you keep trying? He said he was trying to change yet still did the same things he did before. I become distant to protect myself … He didnt understand . Our relationship wasn’t always wonderful … We spent the last year arguing alot , bringing up the past , things that were annoying us but it didnt change the fact that I loved him and still do. When someone who says they love you speaks to you in such a disgusting manner how are you ment to feel about that ? I tried my hardest , I supported him emotionally , mentally and financially but that wasn’t enough , I stayed faithful and loyal that wasn’t enough … It was never enough . My grandad died feb 17th this year I was with him when he passed … It was the most difficult time of my life and ill never get over it , he didnt know how to support me emotionally didn’t understand why I acted how I did after or felt how I did after his death. Life become a struggle for me everyday as I just phased out what had happened so I didn’t have to deal with it ever … And I still haven’t. So I lost my grandad and my relationship in 4 months .

His blocked me on everything , deleted every picture he had of me or us . His erased me from his life like I never existed …. Like I was nothing … Four years just gone in a matter of seconds. I still have every picture … My social sites untouched … I need to realise that this is it … I need to delete the pictures and do the same as him … I just can’t seem to let go. As nasty as he could be I always still saw the good him when others didnt . He will realise one day I hope what a mess his made … The future is so unclear right now it’s scary . But I think his is clear as anything … He will end up with nothing and be nothing now.

So where do I start ? What do you do when you come out of a long term relationship? What do I do to not feel the pain …..