After being in a long term relationship of nearly four years everything crumbled and fell apart. Splitting up is never easy but it’s even harder when you didn’t want to in the first place. How many times can you give chances ? How many times can you keep trying? He said he was trying to change yet still did the same things he did before. I become distant to protect myself … He didnt understand . Our relationship wasn’t always wonderful … We spent the last year arguing alot , bringing up the past , things that were annoying us but it didnt change the fact that I loved him and still do. When someone who says they love you speaks to you in such a disgusting manner how are you ment to feel about that ? I tried my hardest , I supported him emotionally , mentally and financially but that wasn’t enough , I stayed faithful and loyal that wasn’t enough … It was never enough . My grandad died feb 17th this year I was with him when he passed … It was the most difficult time of my life and ill never get over it , he didnt know how to support me emotionally didn’t understand why I acted how I did after or felt how I did after his death. Life become a struggle for me everyday as I just phased out what had happened so I didn’t have to deal with it ever … And I still haven’t. So I lost my grandad and my relationship in 4 months .
His blocked me on everything , deleted every picture he had of me or us . His erased me from his life like I never existed …. Like I was nothing … Four years just gone in a matter of seconds. I still have every picture … My social sites untouched … I need to realise that this is it … I need to delete the pictures and do the same as him … I just can’t seem to let go. As nasty as he could be I always still saw the good him when others didnt . He will realise one day I hope what a mess his made … The future is so unclear right now it’s scary . But I think his is clear as anything … He will end up with nothing and be nothing now.
So where do I start ? What do you do when you come out of a long term relationship? What do I do to not feel the pain …..